POEM: “True Love (What Are You Still Doing With Her?)” — I smiled Cheshire. I prepared the tea.

True Love (What Are You Still Doing With Her?)

“Why are you still with that girl?!!” she said about me, apparently.
I was not threatened. I smiled Cheshire. I prepared the tea.

Laughing. Would you like to know why, darling?
Because I loved your brother the right way, like no other lady.

Because I held him in my arms as he listened to the beats of my heart
And I welcomed him forever on a warm couch, and sober arms.

Because I wanted to hear every word about his day, and his stress at work.
Because he sent me photos from his job sites, from the pool, or chasing ducks.

Because he sent me a video up at that place, taking the dogs for a walk
And sent pictures of his sandwiches and dinners and what he had for lunch.

Because he told me of his whereabouts all throughout the day
And I gave a fuck, even if he didn’t show attention to my stuff, it was OK.

Because I’m older than him, and I’ve had men love me the right way
And because your brother hurts from the inside out, I could see it right away.

And I have no idea what your brother’s laugh sounds like
He never seemed to be glowing a happiness from the inside

Except for when he wrote me after meeting saying he felt hope and happyness
But whether it’s a line you just say to girls to fuck them, or something less.

So why was he still with this girl, the one who wanted safe sex?
The one who doesn’t sleep around but would have fucked your brother relentless?

Because your brother doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground
He’s lured to the bar too much, doping every night, and fucked up

And don’t think I was a pressure, a force, or pushing him
My vision: enjoy love, good times, real intimacy, sex and companionship

And love him well enough to leave him be at 40 to start his family
While I would be 48 on my way with my future king

See for a moment your brother felt a potential for real love
Know that, work with it, don’t trash me and spout off

Don’t take sides – fight him in his bad thoughts
Get his body off of booze, and his mind off of drugs.
(Ask him about Kevin Bacon).

Care for him, tend to him, and love him with all you’ve got
There are nieces and nephews waiting for you –

If he can just find love for himself first off.

This is your brother.

Sylvie Hill, Montreal, July 10, 2019