Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ March 16, 2006
Being in a relationship is a lot like gambling. You play your cards, hedge or make your bets and hope you don’t get fucked up the ass. Unless, of course, you’re into that.
But let’s say you get royally screwed. How long do we have to listen to you […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ March 2, 2006
If you’re not sorry for who you are
Why are you sorry for where you been?
~From “Wasted,” by Joseph Arthur
Inebriation.
Is it about celebration or medication? Jubilation or depression? Can you remind me again why it’s ever a good idea to get wasted?
I gave up drinking in July when […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ February 23, 2006
Winterlude or Bluesfest? Long johns or lawn chairs? Would you consider these among the cultural symbols of Ottawa, the icons that epitomize what makes Ottawa Ottawa?
I’m going to say “yes,” Alex, for $30, the price of my Hawksley Workman ticket at the Bronson Centre on March 19.
Let’s […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ February 9, 2006
People go to great lengths to get sex, either keeping their efforts between themselves and God or with all of New York City.
That’s right. Flippin’ through the New York Post last month, there it was in the popular Page Six column. John Lennon’s 30-year-old son, Sean, appealing […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ February 2, 2006
A lot of change going around these days.
Angelina Jolie changed the last name of her two children, Zahara and Maddox, to “Jolie-Pitt,” and will make Brad Pitt their adoptive father.
Here in Canada, over at CBC Radio, my favourite announcer, Anthony Germain, is changing offices and taking […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ January 26, 2006
Guys, do you ever wish you were porn-store clerk Nino Quincampoix in the French film Amélie, and Ms. Poulain would leave you secret messages by the Beaver Tails stands?
Or ladies, maybe it’s Laure you want to be from the movie Vendredi soir, hoping a suave Parisian named […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ January 12, 2006
…don’t you?
What better way to prove you’re getting laid? Nothing says you’re desired like a bout of chlamydia. What a catch you are.
And isn’t it exciting when your new lover is an International Man of Mystery? Like, when he doesn’t tell you about that sexually transmitted […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ December 22, 2005
Do you know someone who flips through women’s fashion magazines in the grocery store line or has a subscription to Cosmo or Maxim? For 2006, get them the straight goods on chicks. Buy them a copy of Eve’s Quest instead.
From Mother Teresa to Mother Goose, Barbie to Body […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ December 15, 2005
And sometimes the most lost and wasted
attract the most balanced and sane
And the wild and reckless take up
with the clock and the timed
and the mixture is all of us
and we’re still mixing.
From “She Came Along to Me,” Wilco, Bragg and Guthrie
Sometimes when I’m chillin’ with my male […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ December 1, 2005
You know that old saying “Build it and they will come”?
Capital Music Hall on Rideau Street was built in the fall of 2003, and bands and fans came. But now that it’s closing in January to make way for Claridge condos, will this un-building also crumble the […]