This Can Go Both Ways (aka I’m reading too much J.G. Ballard)
This Can Go Both Ways (aka I’m reading too much J.G. Ballard)
A society where healthy married men
Sleep with me for release
from their dutiful lives and superb wives
And we each fill a few of our needs?
In this Society?
Madness! Vile and virtue-depleted!
It is the stuff of a J.G. Ballard novel I’m reading:
Of utopia, idealism and ideas-bending.
It makes more sense than present reality.
But think!
Parents called me boy-crazy
But it’s only now I see
The boys who liked and loved me
Saw ME for me, and saw to MY needs.
With them I got to love and reveal
Secrets and support THEIR dreams
Unlike my divorced and troubled parents
Who didn’t seem able to give an emotional shit.
So I connect:
Fierce-fast, intense and mused
The boys over Internet in far-away dominions.
And dreamt and wept, pleaded, bled and amused
myself with their constant attention and erections.
And I go solo here if someone seems a bore
And with whom I have to waste my energy to score
And entertain with stories if they’re high or a moron
So I choose solitude and go it alone.
If sex be a currency to secure a dealer
Who can feed me something for what I feel for
Do not call it rude for take a look deeper
You’ll see this is what men are engineered for.
It has been men who fell harder and faster
After we’ve touched and gone longer and barer
And if it be said “men are always thinking about sex”
How to channel that sharing into a gift?
I’m not a cheater.
I’ve never cheated
Nor ever will
And feel disgusting
At the backroom deals
The husbands who proposition me – wives, unknowing.
Who suggest with little suggestive things…
Is it wrong by definition of our monogamous society
Or stupid because they do not come out with it clearly?
“We invite a guest,” one man told me
an open-marriage: strong and free.
“I’ll be fucking my on/off again girlfriend back in New Zealand.”
Not a prick – fairly factual: it was just fucking.
Two kinds with open minds, big hearts and decent
While Society favours the suburban and vanilla?
I do not want your husband, but can I help feed him
I’ll get my fill, and he’ll return to you completed.
What a scheme!
Madness! Vile and virtue-depleted!
It is the stuff of a J.G. Ballard novel I’m reading:
Of utopia, idealism and ideas-bending.
Could it make more sense than present reality?
SH 2017