Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ March 1, 2007
I scream, you scream, we all go to extremes to score the one we want to tease and please. Well, okay, some more than others, and the rest of us only sometimes.
Folks trek vast physical distances or make large leaps in logic to win the ones who make […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ June 29, 2006
I have an outhouse to decorate. I’m fascinated by cottage outhouses.
My mom has managed to transform hers into a wooden superbooth of hope and “Believe in Yourself!” messaging plastered all over the walls. There among the E.T. poster and dream catchers are watercolour scrolls of the Footprints […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ June 8, 2006
Ever try talking dirty to your lover? How’s that working out?
I used to believe it was enough for ladies to splay themselves out naked on the centre of a cool, white bed, and — presto! — their job was done. For the most part, I think girls can […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ May 25, 2006
Most couples are fearful that infidelity, finances or jogging pants will dissolve a marriage, but there’s a more terrifying monster lurking in the shadows.
It’s giving up who you are and what you want in order to become one. More plainly put, it’s identity loss.
“Marriage has the potential […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ May 11, 2006
The bands are good ’til they make enough cash
To eat food and get a pad
Then they’re sold out and their music is cliché
Because talent’s exclusive to bands without pay
Know it all - did you really listen to that song?
Could you ever write what you call wrong?
~ “Know It […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ April 27, 2006
When Grandpa slipped Grandma the tongue at Easter dinner, little did we know the affectionate display could forever change our own romantic futures.
Senior citizen sex, with all its hardened toenails, is enough to turn anyone off sex. Then again, it shows us there’s sex way beyond 30. […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ April 20, 2006
When I think about how easy it would be for me to squat cowgirl on my man, on command, in the front seat of a ‘69 Dodge Charger, or compact myself low down to blow him in the cramped space of a dirty bar bathroom, I thank the […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ April 13, 2006
When I hear the term “doggy style,” I think Snoop Dogg. But I also think of a preferred sexual position which invites cupping or bucking so tender your lover’s hands are free to wander like spiders over soft flesh while you’re poised to push into your man’s hard […]
Read more »Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ March 30, 2006
Bardot the babykiller? (Photo: Aaron McKenzie Fraser)
Celebrities from far and wide are being tortured in Canada. That’s right, last week media and pundits abused and ridiculed the McCartneys and Brigitte Bardot for speaking out against Canada’s seal hunt, or “massacres,” which they call horrific.
Being the polite, reciprocating Canadians […]
Ottawa XPress │ Shotgun │ March 23, 2006
I can’t have a baby now, my outfit is all wrong!
According to 99 percent of the television commercials featuring wives and mothers and laundry detergent or minivans, without high-waisted beige chinos, I’m nothing.
Add to that the absence of matching pastel knit co-ordinates and a delicate gold […]