Helping You Helping Me Pt 1 by

You’ve Got The Ugliest Eyes.

When I told her that he asked me to hold him
Then said, “But don’t tell anyone I asked that, please”
And I cuddled him in my arms like a baby
He was 31, you made the ugliest eyes I’ve ever seen.

When a man fixed my knapsack, hiking
And tightened the straps, belted me in like a little girl
I felt protected and loved, like he was my Dad or saviour
I was 38, you made the ugliest eyes I’ve ever seen in the world.

When I told her what had happened in the morning
She scoffed said, “well, you delivered yourself on a platter!”
I was not looking for a fuck, just tender connection!
At 39, and she made the ugliest eyes on the planet.

These men I’ve known, with strengths and beards
Were sometimes weak, cried or seemed vulnerable and scared
And whereas I would pet them, wipe tears, you’d just stare
Classic: you’ve got the ugliest eyes by far.

These men I’ve cared for sometimes did dumb stuff
And I persecuted them for their apparent perceived wrong
Cried “You’re a Liar!” when their actions were beyond them (or partly my fault)
All Men loved, have the ugliest eyes when they go numb…

And when I looked in the mirror
I saw my eyes

They judged.

© Sylvie Hill 2014

Art: Don Smith – beginning of “Helping You Helping Me” (2014) — with Don Smith.