Sylvie Hill

COURAGE, MY LOVE
In sickness, and in health…

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat, I’m all ready you see, now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!” ~Dr. Seuss

Would You Like Your Cancer (WYLYC) documents the heartfelt and spirited journey of young Ottawa author, Megan Oates, who was diagnosed with thyroid cancer at age 17. At a time when she should have been playing teenager preparing for college or university, she was being wheeled down hospital hallways to surgery to have her thyroid gland cut out. Now in her mid-twenties, Oates penned the memoir to tell the story of her battle against cancer and how, testament to being a “fighter,” she won both renewed life and love in the end.

A chronicled exposé of discovery to recovery, WYLYC is a poignant and instructive tale for teenagers and adults alike, cancer survivors and their supporters, to remind us that in sickness and in health, all we need is love and gratitude—and, maybe even a bit of skateboarding…

LOVER/FIGHTER

Not her Grandmother’s death from cancer, nor a shitty boyfriend were going to separate Oates from her will to achieve her goals. This fierce determination, energy and spunk make WYLYC a compelling and candid recollection of a persevering teenager who in 2012, at 24 years-old, is now six-years cancer-free.

The legacy of courage was passed on to Oates by her Grandmother, who died from cancer in 1996, and to whom the book is dedicated. Oates recounts in the memoir how on her sickbed, her dying Grandmother hands her a figurine of two teddy bears—a little girl bear on a wooden fence facing a little boy bear holding flowers behind his back. “I think that figurine and what it portrayed was my Grandmother’s way of telling me to ‘never settle’ since she would never have the opportunity to talk to me about love,” she writes.

Oates’ Aunt Gail is also a source of strength: “When the cancer ordeal had subsided, the disease continued to be a part of my life,” she writes. The fight was now part of her, and she self-identifies with her Aunt Gail who had been diagnosed twice and lost a leg to cancer. “It takes someone with a strong sense of character to battle cancer.”

Fighting all the way, she goes from several appointments through to post-treatment with helpful doctors, friends and family by her side. She invokes her own bravery and heavy emotion when she writes about the chilling experience of the fine needle aspiration biopsy where one of her fathers (she has two), beside her, “with his hands to his mouth,” had to look away. Holding her breath as the needle enters her neck to poke at the potentially cancerous nodule in her thyroid, she writes:

“I could not move and I could not breathe. I wanted to go home, so badly. I read a booklet on the fine needle aspiration biopsy. It informed me the test was fast, safe and usually caused little discomfort. Well, they lied. Before this whole thing, I had been a tough girl. …I wasn’t afraid of dying and I knew that one day, life as I knew it would end. Having the procedure changed my thought process to a degree. I began to think more seriously about the severity of the situation.”

What follows from her diagnosis are new routines, including several rituals to keep her secluded from others because of the radiation in her body from the treatment. She must juggle her hours at her job at Music World and face skeptical coworkers who scoff at why she gets so much time off. The experience clarifies for Oates, in the end, what was worth worrying about and what was not.

For the prom, a tailor over-chopping two feet off her prom dress, which had been ripped at the edge by the cat, and totally ruining it? No problem. Footwear? “I told everyone they wouldn’t catch me in heels at the prom. …Sure enough, I showed up in my green and blue checkered Vans slip-ons.”

It’s that character that prevails when the asshole, cheating ex-boyfriend breaks up with Oates at the kitchen table reminding her: “I only stayed with you because you had cancer, don’t forget that.”

She wins in the end with her new boyfriend Joshua. “I never thought I would have someone to love me unconditionally, to be there through the good, the bad and the ugly,” she writes. “He was there when I was sick, when I had hospital appointments, when I had good news and when I had bad news.”

Provocative as a young woman, this author crafted a must-read memoir that is never boring, and always entertaining in its boldness or captivating in its softness. WYLYC is a quick read with an easy narrative style. Structurally, it’s peppered with quotes to introduce each of the eighteen chapters. While conversational in tone, the text is cleverly crafted, setting up poignant memories that will have you laughing out loud or balling your eyes out.

Read rhetorically, Would You Like Your Cancer? supposes that no, the reader would absolutely not want their cancer, thanks! Read inquisitively, it prompts the philosophical question of how disease can be a learning experience. Either way it is read, the title challenges the reader to reflect on the topic—deeply.

INSPIRATION

Oates hopes to raise awareness of the disease among young people with the same excitement she understood of Rob Dyer, the young skateboarder who created Skate4Cancer.com and skateboarded across the United States and Canada to raise awareness for cancer and to reach his personal goal of turning the loss of his mother into something positive. Two years and a month after Oates’ diagnosis, she had “s4c” tattooed on the inside of her right wrist along with a skateboard deck, and the word ‘hope’ written on the inside of her left wrist. While she’s never met Dyer, she says “his positivity, drive and determination are so inspirational.”

Oates’ desire to connect with human beings is strong: “If you take a city bus and take a good look at the people around you, you’ll never know their story. … If you never saw the three and a half inch scar on my neck, almost connecting my two collarbones you would never know I was ever sick. … I wish you could look at someone and just know everything; know all their fears, thoughts, and their stories. I think people would be much more understanding of each other.”

Learning about this girl’s story increases the reader’s understanding of what cancer patients go through. How they fight to stay themselves instead of becoming a cancer label. WYLYC teaches about perseverance in real ways, through the aspirations of young Oates:

“I always thought it would be wonderful to have a fall wedding. In my mind, visions of bright orange and fire red leaves on a white wedding dress were breathtaking. After having a successful surgery, I could go on wishing and hoping for those simple things in life.”

WYLYC demystifies the ominous “journey” of battling cancer and gives meaning and shape to the words “courage” and “hope.” Courage to keep on dreaming, and hope to keep on truckin’. Through one Ottawa girl’s personal story, the experience of cancer is all the more real, invoking compassion and inspiring conversation and awareness, accomplishing Oates’ purpose in scribbling a memoir in the first place.

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Check out Sylvie’s cover story feature in The Ottawa XPress on Ottawa’s folk scene and the upcoming Canadian Folk Music Awards Gala.

2009 Awards Gala in Ottawa, Ontario

The fifth annual Canadian Folk Music awards gala will take place on Saturday, November 21, 2009 at Dominion Chalmers Church, 355 Cooper Street, Ottawa, Ontario (corner of O’Conner), http://www.dcpresentations.com. The awards ceremony will feature live music by April Verch, Old Man Luedecke, Les Charbonniers de l’Enfer, Yonder Hill, Valdy and Caterina Cardeal & Mike Siracusa, followed by a reception for all.

Ottawa’s amazing Roots Music / Americana / Country musicians The Brothers Chaffey have finished recording their new album with Ken Friesen (the Sadies/Tragically Hip) and it is available now!

CD available in Ottawa at Compact Music.

SHOWS:
13 Nov 2009 20:30
Blacksheep (Bushpilots CD release) Wakefield, Quebec
20 Nov 2009 21:00
Royal Oak (Canal/Echo Drive) Ottawa, Ontario
21 Nov 2009 21:30
Thirsty Moose Carleton Place, Ontario

Formed in 2004 the Brothers Chaffey are a roots rock n’ roll band hailing from Ottawa, Ontario. The sibling team of Matthew (lead vocals/guitar), and younger brother Curtis (lead guitar/vocals) have been performing together for 10 years in various acts. Since 2005, the Brothers Chaffey have performed consistently with Dave Macdonald (bass) and Nick Diak (drums) as their rhythm section and the foundation to the band’s sound. More recently the band has expanded their line-up by adding a new member, Adam Puddington (guitar/vocals). This driving version of the band delivers powerful rhythms and a distinct groove.

The vitality and intensity of their music has earned the Brothers Chaffey a reputation for up-tempo, dancehall, rock n’ roll shows. They have toured from coast to coast and maintained a solid fan base in Halifax, Toronto and Ottawa in support of their first record release Harbord Street Soul. During 2008/09 the Brothers collaborated with engineer/producer Ken Friesen (Tragically Hip/the Sadies) to create Bloodlines, their second full length LP and their most rock n’ roll sound to date.

“The Brothers Chaffey are brave old souls in a brave new world.” – Sylvie Hill, Ottawa XPress

She’ll Never Know is a short-story collection Sylvie’s working on, featuring heart- and nose-breaking tales of sex-filled one-night stands. But not her own entirely…

A total 180° from the autobiographical Hoxton Square Circles: Starfucking Tales of Sexless One-night Stands, the new book spills other people’s sad-sack sonofabitch stories of suffering and redemption from adultery, infedility and obsessive love.

Inspired by Kate Chopin’s 1899 novel, The Awakening, and T.S. Eliot’s 1949 play, The Cocktail Party, Hill explores themes of isolation in marriage, or long-term relationships, and the fiery fierce hunger to connect profoundly with ourselves by using others romantically.

Check out the News section to find out what Shotgun was saying this time years ago…

I once again hosted the annual Mustaches for Kids’ “Sweetest ’Stache Bash Finale” on Friday, December 5th at Zaphod Beeblebrox, 27 York Street in Ottawa, where close to 75 men, sporting mustaches for charity, strutted their stuff to win the sweetest ‘stache sash for 2008.

Local photographer, Paul Galipeau, took photos of this year’s growers, who helped raise $16,000 for the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Canada (Eastern Ontario chapter).

This article titled “Local author says erotic literature is for ’good girls,’ too…” was featured in Carleton University’s Centretown News

By Jessica Iaboni

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An Ottawa writer will release her first fiction novel about the sexual escapades of a liberated woman and her hybrid vampire lover in early April [2006].

Patricia McCarthy, an office worker by day and veteran poet by night, decided to take a “bite” at novel writing almost two years ago.

The outcome, The Crimson Man, which she describes as a modern fantasy about sexual desire and lust, is not your average romance novel – it’s not even close.

“This is not an ordinary love story and it is a little dark,” says McCarthy, who feels that the book will allow people to explore their sexuality, likely within the comfort of their own home.

Centretown writer Sylvie Hill agrees and says it is easy to curl into bed all warm and snugly with a good book. Why not a tantalizing book about sex?

But not everyone is a fan of erotic literature. Take for example Chapters, where tucked at the far back are the often-overlooked sex books. They are ignored, Hill says, because most people associate sex artefacts with pornography and some wouldn’t be caught dead with what is considered “porn.” But most novels that discuss sex, like McCarthy’s, fall under the literary genre of erotica.

“Traditionally, erotica and porn get swept off the shelf together because they are both seen as being all about sex,” says Hill, who is known for her in-your-face and blunt one-night-stand sex poems. For her, erotica varies and can signify many things for many people.

“I think pornography is about the outside and obvious, whereas erotica is instead poetic, mysterious and more hidden,” she says.

Derived from the Greek word “eros,” meaning passionate love, erotica is defined by the online dictionary Wikipedia as “a modern word used to describe the portrayal of human sensuality and sexuality with high-art aspirations.” It can include mediums like literature, photography, film, sculpture and painting.

“I can see it as an art form and a craft because you are exploring the world of fantasy,” says Hill, who argues that reading erotica is a judgment call and writing it is a challenge. A challenge she attempted to hurdle a few years ago with a non-fiction novel she doesn’t quite consider erotica. Since then she has stuck with poetry and column writing, reading a few times with the Durtygurls, a group of Ottawa women who showcase sex poets and their illicit poems.

“I don’t identify with erotica because I think it is supposed to flow and be sexy, whereas I am more frank and vulgar,” she says, muttering a curse accompanied by a laugh.

For McCarthy, erotica explores desire. “It gives people permission to enter a different world and have thoughts you wouldn’t normally articulate out loud,” she says.

But McCarthy has found that many people are uncomfortable with these thoughts. Prior to publication of The Crimson Man, she asked a few friends and editors to read the novel and unsurprisingly received mixed reviews.

“Out of those who have already read it, the men were aroused and the women tended to blush,” she says. McCarthy finds that men have an easier time discussing sex while women are socialized to hold back. But both McCarthy and Hill agree that the idea women should hold their tongues when it comes to sex talk is changing.

“Through erotica women are now able to bring a voice to the female desire, it is not only from a man’s point of view,” says Hill.

McCarthy has noticed over the years, while sifting through erotica books, that most writers are male. This, she says, should change because women should be able to write about their own sexuality. Her main character in the novel, Magdalene, who is open about sex and shockingly empowered, represents McCarthy’s idealistic woman.

But depicting such a strong character didn’t come easy. McCarthy took a few erotica writing lessons that came in handy.

Megan Butcher, who lives in Centretown, has taught how to write erotica and seductive letters for a few years at Venus Envy sex stores. She says that writing erotica is difficult for a number of reasons.

“It has a lot to do with discomfort and vulnerability, it is definitely harder than writing regular stuff,” she says.
McCarthy agrees and says that writing the sex scenes was the most difficult because they had to be different and unique every time.

As a writer herself, Butcher agrees that erotica relies on creativity. She has recently noticed an increased interest in erotica writing classes mainly because it is more acceptable in society to talk about sex.

“It is a fun night out of the ordinary and there are a lot of good writers in Ottawa,” she says.

For many, attending McCarthy’s book launch April 9 [2006] will be a night out of the ordinary, but for the author herself, it will be a time to teach others about the art of erotica.

The Ottawa XPress – October 9, 2008

Different strokes
Willis talkin’ about the new, cut Grass

The members of East Coast band The Grass have more in common with their ’60s role models than the inventive musical style and eclectic fashions. Add low- or no-paying jobs, commune living and recreational drug use, followed by friction and break-ups, reformation and a rumoured reunion tour, and it’s clearly a reputation they come by easily.

The story goes that the Grass’s original sextet uprooted from Dartmouth in winter 2007 to a house in Ottawa South so they could plug their alt-country hippy rock into the Ottawa music scene. Read more…

The Ottawa XPress – September 11, 2008

CALL OF THE WILD:
Moose & Pussy: Dirty, gritty, literary

The definition of “erotica” has been recycled more times than a cum rag. It’s been cleaned up and academicized to appease prudes, romanticized to placate suburbanites and disguised to mean anything that’s not porn. That’s why you’ll love Ottawa’s newest erotica magazine, Moose & Pussy – straight-up dirty writing, and editor Jeff Blackman doesn’t care what genre you call it.

“Some say erotica means softcore and porn means hardcore,” Blackman tells XPress. “It’s labels for the same thing, and I don’t think too much about it.” Read more…