Thank You, I’m Free Now.
Thank You, I’m Free Now.
They say that there are some things
For which we’ll never know the answer.
To give up on the search for the meaning
And to accept the situation as absurd.
I am no longer the London fish tank.
And no longer a dead fish going with the flow.
Out of the small pond that was the bowl
And into the big world of Unknowns!
Thank you, I’m free now with his answer.
And yes it helped a little to know.
That my charitable heart and friendship
Means nothing, in the end, to a scoundrel.
And I could see in the way his “fans”
And friends and family members corralled
Laughed at others with their sharp tongues
Counted points like on a scoreboard.
Except she who looked like a kind-hearted woman?
In a suit, white shirt and brilliant red scarf.
It was New Years Eve, you were in a suit,
By a mirror, second photo of you in smile.
The first photo of you from 2000:
A young, fun guy at 12 Bar relatively silent.
The next from 2013, I had to delete
You looked proper evil, mean – empty.
And your lot may think me half-crazy
As were you & may have been drunk in Spain telling me:
“Thank you for all your help, I mean it”
And to you I say, well that’s done, November 17 – three years
No more counting…
No more wondering…
You really did not care at all.
And it’s on me for believing
I had it figured out!
They say that there are some things
For which we’ll never know the answer.
To give up on the search for the meaning
And to accept the person was a bastard.
And that I posted as a Poet undercover
when I was nothing but a weakened morsel
floating about in patterns.
Sylvie Hill 2016